Category: Gurus
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Start watching TV, Maitreya is coming, Maitreya is coming!
Over the last few weeks, there have been full-page ads in our local paper, The Daily Camera, announcing that Maitreya, the One World Healer, the World Teacher, the Messiah, the returning Christ (sorry for any confusion, all of the previous are referring to the same dude), will soon be back on earth and, even better,…
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You can have ANYTHING you want… NOT!
I’ve tried, I’ve really tried. I’ve tried to be removed from every mailing list that sends me emails which make me scream. I’ve even set up filters to automatically trash email that comes in with subject lines that make my blood turn into liquid nitrogen at room temperature (a.k.a. “boil”). But, like messages that will…
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If you think you can, or you think you can’t… who cares what you think!
Get this image in your mind: a small, framed, slightly yellowing needlepoint, hanging near the front door of a farm house, and stitched into it, among the flowers and butterflies is the phrase “Home Sweet Home.” It’s supposed to evoke calmness and happiness and appreciation and warmth. Very Norman Rockwell. I like to use the…
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Absolutely Relative
In many “spiritual” circles, they refer to two kinds of “truth”: Relative and Absolute. Relative Truth is what we know and experience on a daily basis. There’s a you, there’s a me, we’re separate individuals. Events transpire over time. As the Zen boys would say, “Mountains are mountains and rivers are rivers.” Absolute Truth on…
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Shave and a haircut, two…
How many of you automatically added “bits” to the end of the title of this post? There’s a great scene in a Steve Martin movie: We’re outside his hotel door and hear him practicing the tuba. A woman walks to the door. He plays the tune for “Shave and a haircut, two…” and the woman…
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Accepting Things As They Aren’t
My friend Robert Hover was one of the first westerners authorized to teach Buddhist meditation. This was about 45 years ago. As part of Robert’s training with his teacher, U Ba Khin, he developed a particular way of attending to painful or unpleasant sensations that not only led to the discomfort disappearing but also resulted…
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How to make anybody do anything…
I can make anybody do anything for as long as I want, and so can you. Here’s how: Think of the goofy thing you want them to do. If you can’t think of any, here’s a quick list that might give you some ideas… Go to a specific building every week (or more) Speak or…
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The little experiment that could
I have a friend who meditates for a living. Yup. Gets paid to sit on his butt. He’s living in Fairfield, Iowa, the US home of TM (Trancendental Meditation). Apparenly, some gajillionaire (I think he actually has gajillion dollar bills!) believes that if enough TM people meditate (long, hard, with feeling, without feeling… something) enough,…
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Seriously, don’t tell anyone about this…
I’m thinking of selling a new ebook. The title: “The Secret Secret that Secret People Behind The Secret Secretly Wanted Kept Secret” It’s only four pages: 1) If you want to win the lottery… 2) … get off your ass and buy a ticket! 3) And, if you want anything other than a lottery ticket……
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Look, Ma, no brains!
I got a phone call today. “This is Jim. I’m calling because you bought our ebook about affiliate programs — are you looking to make more money, or quit your dayjob, or are you not serious about changing your life?” “Well,” I replied, completely unaffected by his opening gambit, “it’s interesting to hear you frame…
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A petition for more powerful magical clothing
I was vacuuming the house this morning and came across something that has made more than one person upset — a prayer book and prayer shawl (in a decorative bag) on the floor. Understand that this is a room without any furniture. No desk. No shelves. No end table from Pier 1. Oh, there is…
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The Buddha Su-u-u-cks
My favorite thing about the title of this blog post is that it might get some people a bit hot under the meditation cushion, but it’s not too likely to get my website firebombed. However, had I replaced Buddha with Jesus or Mohammed… well, that could lead to a whole different set of consequences. And…
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You can be the next Tiger Woods, guaranteed!
WARNING: This will be an unusually short post for me 😉 I already talked about this particular issue, so I don’t need to rehash it. But I ran across the PERFECT example of it, so I had to bring it up again. So… There’s a new movie called Milarepa: Magician, Murderer, Saint directed by a…
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Back away from the enlightened guy… nothing to see here
In January of ’06, my wife and and were in Mumbai, India (as if there’s another Mumbai you would confuse it with. “Does he mean Mumbai, Kentucky?”) for a friend’s wedding. And, btw, if you ever hava a chance to go to India I can’t recommend enough going for a wedding put on by a…
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How to Become a Millionaire Self-Help Guru (it’s easy!)
Now you can become a millionaire as Self-Help Guru! Just follow this simple six-step plan and in no time you’ll be living the life you thought you would have if you followed the advice of Self-Help Gurus! STEP 1 – Pick some ubiquitous aspect of being human, something that a large number of people experience…