When’s the last time you were depressed about having 2 arms?<\/p>\n
Seriously, when is the last time you went to therapy complaining about the condition of having arms?<\/p>\n
Never?<\/p>\n
Okay, maybe it’s a bad example.<\/p>\n
How ’bout legs?<\/p>\n
Ever go to a workshop to resolve your “having legs” issue?<\/p>\n
Ever complain to your friends that if you could just get over having legs that then<\/strong> you could be happy and have the relationship you desire and make the money you deserve?<\/p>\n No?<\/p>\n Why not?<\/p>\n Seriously. Why don’t you complain and bemoan and struggle with having 2 legs or 2 arms or a head or a torso or feet or hands or eyes?<\/p>\n I can only find 2 answers.<\/p>\n First, because we think these things are useful. (more about this in a moment) We don’t try to get over our having limbs issue because everyone has the same issue. We think it’s normal to have arms and legs. We think we’re supposed to have arms and legs. Everyone else does. We call people that don’t “handicapped” or “disabled” (or some other term that’s currently politically correct or not).<\/p>\n So, think about that internal issue of yours that you’ve wanted to change, that you’ve tried to get rid of, that you’ve been working on. That problem that, if it were resolved would make the rest of your life work better.<\/p>\n You want an interesting experiement to try? Try this: Walk up to people and say, “I have this issue where I ___ (fill in the blank with your issue). Do you have that one or one that’s similar?”<\/p>\n Give a dollar to anyone who says “No.”<\/p>\n Don’t worry, you could start out with $5, ask MILLIONS of people and still have enough cash left over for a candy bar (or maybe $5 worth of candy bars!).<\/p>\n We’re afraid of imagined futures. We dislike certain thoughts that appear in our minds. We engage in actions that don’t lead to happiness. We believe unpleasant things about ourselves. We don’t like how we look or feel or act sometimes.<\/p>\n Guess what?<\/p>\n That’s just the way these human things are built.<\/p>\n That’s just part of the package, like arms and legs.<\/p>\n We come out of the womb with arms, legs, mental stuff and habits we don’t like.<\/p>\n Imagine being the first one on the planet, no instruction book for your human mind\/body, no other people to compare to… and you begin noticing these “issues” of yours. So you call tech support. Sanjeev answers and says, “Welcome to human being tech support. How may I give you great assistance today?”<\/p>\n You describe your problems and your issues and Sanjeev says, “Let me check with my manager. May I put you on hold for 2-3 minutes?”<\/p>\n Two to three minutes later, he returns. “Yes, what you’re describing is how the human being is supposed to operate. That is a “feature” not a “bug.”<\/p>\n What if you knew that these “issues” were simply a part of being human… and you knew it so deeply, that you put no more effort into the issue (let alone resolving it), than you do trying to get rid of the “having legs and arms” issue?<\/p>\n What if these “problems” were so commonly accepted — like having arms and legs — that it wouldn’t even occur to you to discuss having them?<\/p>\n What if we thought of people who tried to change these “features” as “disabled” or “handicapped”… because they weren’t able to move through life with normal freedoms since they were so caught up in trying to fix something that nobody else sees as broken?<\/p>\n What could you do with the free time and energy if you weren’t using it trying to fix yourself? If you weren’t trying to escape the phenomenon of being human?<\/p>\n Oh, I said that one other reason we don’t take antidepressants over having limbs is that they’re useful.<\/p>\n Think of at least 3 ways that your “problems” are useful. Even better, think of 3 ways that your problems are gifts, blessings or responsible for you having gotten something valuable in your life.<\/p>\n Geez, every one of my biggest issues is also one of my favorite aspects of myself! Were it not for those issues I wouldn’t have had any of my favorite experiences in life. Were it not for that “problem,” I would have been unable to escape situations with which I couldn’t cope! (at least it seems that way)<\/p>\n So, once we get hip to the idea that our problems are part of the way these human things come out of the package, what if we could only see these same features as useful, beneficial, important, valuable. More, even, than our limbs?<\/p>\n Sure it would put a bunch of therapists out of business, but I trust they’d find something fun to do with their “issue” of believing other people need fixing \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" When’s the last time you were depressed about having 2 arms? Seriously, when is the last time you went to therapy complaining about the condition of having arms? Never? Okay, maybe it’s a bad example. How ’bout legs? Ever go to a workshop to resolve your “having legs” issue? Ever complain to your friends that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[6,3,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-evolutionary-psychology","category-psychology","category-self-improvement"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sashen.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nSecond, and more importantly, because almost everyone we see on the planet has them, too!<\/p>\n