From the “I couldn’t have said it better myself” department comes the following, thanks to Saturday Night Live. While this video is about manifesting a particular goal — picking up women — I’m sure you’ll see how to apply this to whatever you’re trying to get.
For extra credit, fill in the blanks:
To become as good a golfer as Tiger Woods, you neeed to ______________________
To become as rich as Donald Trump (when he’s not $8 billion underwater), you must ________________
To be as awakened as _____________, you have to ________________________
Comments
5 responses to “How to be successful in anything… finally, the truth revealed!”
Okay, let me think now. . . . *chews pencil*
To become as good a golfer as Tiger Woods, I neeed to . . . get real and forget it.
To become as rich as Donald Trump (when he’s not $8 billion undewater), I must . . . get real and forget it.
To be as awakened as (err . . . and this means?), I have to ummm . . . . wait, just a minute, it’s coming to me, I . . . uhhh . . . have to make up a story that there is some state called “awakened” that is more desirable than whatever I am currently experiencing. Then by thinking I must “do” something to be different in some imagined future, I must stress and strive and read books and take seminars and spend money and go into debt over it and . . . be miserable trying to do some undefinable thing called “awaken.”
Teacher? Can I just skip this last question? It doesn’t make any sense!
I thought to be successful in anything, you only had to read “The Secret.” Surely you aren’t telling me there is another way to achieve success…and enlightenment! Having said that, step 3 on the video is very relevant. Tell me that Tiger Woods is not a kick ass name. Or Donald Trump. Trump Tower sounds much more impressive than Shapiro Shack. I’m changing my name to “Max Power.” Hey. it worked for Homer Simpson (in case you don’t remember, he got the name after looking at a hair dryer).
Shapiro,
I always thought you’d make your fame and fortune as “Buck Naked.”
I caught this on Saturday. I thought about your blog.
To become as good a golfer as Tiger Woods, you need to have a stage daddy who won’t leave you alone until you are as good a golfer as Tiger Woods. (Seems to have worked for him; see also Williams sisters, Brooke Shields, Gypsy Rose Lee, Donald Trump.)
To become as rich as Donald Trump (when he’s not $8 billion underwater), you must have really bad hair, and see above.
To be as awakened as __(insert name of venerable teacher here)___ you have to lose control of your bowels in the night and get a wicked raw diaper rash. That will wake you up right quick; ask any infant.
Oh, and go to sports psychologists, Dan Kennedy seminars, and lots of satsangs with people who tell you there is nothing you can do to wake up. Since you are not the doer anyway, it’s okay to do stuff; that’s just how detached you really are, Kimo Sabe, uh, Grasshoppper, if only you knew it (or didn’t know it, more’s the point).